Sacrifice

It's Lent 2013. I've made it this far. This is actually going to be the first Lent I spend away from home, so it really is up to me to personally make the decisions on my own. For example, I fasted today. And I've been hungry. And there are lots of people around me who are eating their fill. Case in point: the dining hall had fried chicken and macaroni and cheese for lunch. But it's the self-denial that brings us closer to Jesus.

Also, my mom managed to send me a lovely care package with some candy and pound cake. But...it arrived today, so I can't eat any of that until tomorrow. I think God is telling me something about self-denial. As a matter of fact, I have been "wailing in self-pity" recently. There are things I want but know I shouldn't want, and can't have, and rather than just complaining, I need to focus on my own life, and most importantly my studies and prayer life. 

So, for this Lent there are a couple things I'd like to do, that I want to put down here, mostly for myself than anything:

• I'm giving up the cookies at the dining hall. They're absolutely delicious, and always out, so this will require some effort.
• I'm also preparing for making the Total Consecration to Mary on the feast of the Annunciation, so I'll be doing reading and prayers for that through Lent. 
• When I'm doing homework, I'm going to listen to Christian music instead of secular music. I don't think it's possible for me to give up all music, so I'll replace with Christian music when I'm studying/doing homework--like now in fact I'm listening to Jason Gray on Spotify. 
• Finally, I want to add in some reading of The Imitation of Christ. I've wanted to read this for a long time (along with Introduction to the Devout Life) and so why not try to read 1 chapter a day for Lent?

Are you giving anything up for Lent? I always say I "want to make the most out of this Lent," and I also feel like I always fall short of my promises to myself. However, I think that's a sign of our human-ness, and we can learn humility from always picking ourselves up to try again, just as Jesus did on His way to Calvary. 

God bless you all my friends during this Lent. 

+JMJ+

Light

You may sleep in my boat; I shall not awaken you. You are hiding Yourself, but I know well where You are hidden: You are in my heart. I do not feel it, but I know it. I believe in Your love for me and I believe in my love for You. 
---from I Believe in Love

Jesus is the most precious thing of my life. And I don't always display that through my actions. I don't know what it is...whether it's the environment I'm in, fear of judgment from others, self-consciousness. And I don't understand why this is, because my Faith is the most freeing thing I have.

I love being Catholic. I can't imagine any other life, any other Truth. Everyone jokes about my future husband...."Oh, he'll definitely be religious." Or, talking about some cute guy: "Elizabeth, look--he's Catholic!" My friends tease and think it's good fun, and it is. But do they understand how important my Faith is to me? Of course my future husband (God willing) is Catholic. I couldn't marry someone who was not, or who wasn't seeking the Truth.

But more importantly, does my life not reflect this great importance of my Faith? Shouldn't my friends and those close to me know immediately who I am--a child of God? If I don't make that clear, even with fear of judgment, then I'm not living the way Jesus wants me to.

So, this is something I must constantly strive to improve: keep my mind and soul fresh with spiritual reading and prayer, and then let that constantly shine through my daily life. I always say I want to be a light to others. And in this world of great darkness, even my small, little light has the potential to make a great difference.

Road Trip

This past weekend, we had a three-day break from school, so my friends and I took a road trip Sunday-Monday. I think it's a typical college milestone I can now cross off my list. The first week of the semester was rough, and probably one of my longer weeks. Everything came so fast, and before you know it, we were steeped in work again.

So, we took a weekend. It started with my friend (and roommate next year) getting up before light to go to 7:30 Mass, because we would be traveling during all the other times offered. 

We drove west, toward the mountains until we reached our destination, Asheville, and walked around downtown. 

The next big item on our agenda was a hike in the Blue Ridge Mountains. We didn't have the time or resources for a major hike, so we found some trails to go through. No summit, just creeks and mini cascades, and lots of trees. It was good fun and so peaceful. I always wish I was more of a nature girl, since I hate the bugs that come along with nature. But, since it was winter, most of the crawlies were asleep. And so all bundled up, I could enjoy the woods in peace. 

And now it's back to the grindstone. I already have my first quiz coming up...a geography map quiz of Medieval Europe for my Medieval History class (along with a bulk-load of reading to go along with it). And I'm not very good at geography, or maps, so I don't know how well this will go about. 

A Humble Mission

Sometimes I wonder about what exactly it is that I'm doing here on the internet. A college girl...grown from a homeschooler...grown through many phases and styles. The few readers I still have after my month of silence will have to bear with me. I'm going to be pretty boring.

Originally, I started because my friend had a blog, and I liked the idea of sharing my life. I grew and improved in the "art," but had a hard time with consistency--both in quality and quantity. Blogging is hard work, if you want to make it good, or so I thought.

While I was on winter break, I stumbled upon this website of Catholic teen video bloggers on Youtube, and found some gems. I was so inspired, enough that I thought...should I consider vlogging? It would be a way to live my faith on a different level and reach many different people in a new community. However, the idea sort of died when I realized sometimes, I just can't get my thoughts out on the spot.

Maybe writing is my better medium. Sure, I have a small audience, but I have been so blessed by my blogs over the years, as my writing and purpose have grown and evolved. Now, rather than blogging for popularity, I've become quite content with my wee little blog here, sharing snippets of life as well as faith. And my collaboration at Catholic Young Woman has been a blessing beyond compare. As Clare emailed me a few days ago, we really do have a blessed mission and blessed work.

I never really thought about it like that before....that these blogs were a kind of work. But indeed they are. If I've touched one person, caused one person to turn away from the darkness toward the light of Faith, or inspired one single reader, then I believe I have succeeded.

And so, I don't think the writing needs a lot of fancy pictures and gadgets. (Yes, I do have a camera, a nice one too, but don't find too much time to put it to use at school, unfortunately.) Perhaps I do wish sometimes my writing could reach a wider audience. But God has a very specific purpose in mind for this work, and He will direct my words to those who need them, I'm sure of it.

God bless friends, and won't you say a prayer for me, and all those Catholics writing to others.